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Rappers are busy people, what with all the ho juggling, money stacking, and ride pimping. That's why so few of them have time to fully devote to the craft of acting. And yet so many of them are doing it, mucking up our precious horror films with their half-assed performances. Now, the time has come to set them straight...

Most confirmed horror deaths by black actors. R.I.P., brothers and sisters, R.I.P. Tony Todd (15) Are You Scared 2 Candyman Candyman 2 Candyman 3 The Crow The Eden Formula Minotaur Murder-Set-Pieces Night of the Living Dead Nite Tales Scarecrow Slayer Shadow: Dead Riot Shadow Puppets The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Wishmaster Pam Grier (6) Bones Class...

These actors and actresses aren't usually the leads in horror movies, but they keep busy in supporting roles as the best friends, the partners, the safari guides and other assorted capacities that probably ensure death. You know their faces, but you don't know their names or even where you know them from. Before you walk up and ask them, "Do...

Originally published on PopMatters.com I have a secret passion; the less addicted of you might call it an addiction. I like to watch. I rent base, filthy movies and slip them into brown paper bags so no one can tell. I sit alone in seedy, near-empty theaters, pleasuring myself with this trash. I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone about my...

"No way. I've seen this movie. The black dude dies first." - Professor Harry Phineas Block (Orlando Jones), Evolution "Ooh, I'm done! Brothers never make it out of situations like this!" - Sherman "Preacher" Dudley (LL Cool J), Deep Blue Sea "Did you know that the black guy doesn't always die first?" - sinister email, The Mangler 2 "Everybody knows black guys get it...

Like every other Internet gnome trolling the Web for treasure, I traced the progress of the film Snakes on a Plane for months, drinking in the online parodies and speculating on the possibility of sequels (Giraffes on a Speedboat) or even prequels (Dodos on a Frigate). I cheered when New Line Studios ordered five days of re-shoots to bump...

Originally published on MadAtoms.com You've seen him in every horror movie since 1984: the black guy who hangs out with a group of white people he has nothing in common with, whose only purpose, it seems, is to die first. He's been sliced into pieces in Resident Evil, de-armed in Predator, and he had his head punched off in Friday...

Everyone knows that the "black guy" (or gal) usually dies in horror movies -- so much so, in some instances, the characters themselves seem to be aware of their inevitable fate. Thus, we have the phenomenon of black "heroic death," in which black characters (usually peripheral) voluntarily sacrifice themselves -- or at least, volunteer for tasks that mean certain...

Be they stereotypes or monotypes, they're the "types" that most black characters in horror films inevitably fall into... The Spook As the name implies, the spook is spooked by all things spooky. Typically the comic sidekick, he's often spared from death by his ability to make people laugh. The "classic spook" (most widely represented by Mantan Moreland and the catchphrase often...

Re-imagining your favorite horror movies with black casts.